I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
