Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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