I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
