they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
