Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
