My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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