What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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