I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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