I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
