I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize