So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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