On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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