Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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