i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
