How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Can you bring me the toilet please
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
