Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize