So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
