And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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