shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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