I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm passing your future prison.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize