Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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