I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
