either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
