Where is the hickey?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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