the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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