I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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