I hate all girls vehemently.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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