Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
