I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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