It's like God shit irony all over that family
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
