I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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