Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
