am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
