how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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