I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
