ADVERTISEMENT

• (425): View more from Washington

  My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed

  Fav 13 5405 1531

  share tweet
  

• (+32): View more from Belgium

  guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for

  Fav 16 5617 1393

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed

  Fav 6 1211 4211

  share tweet
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks

  Fav 11 1350 832

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Aw.

  Fav 2 912 1036

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"

  Fav 2 798 537

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (488): View more from

  I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover

  (441): View more from Bermuda-Carib

  Omg I can't even...

  Fav 1 569 884

  share tweet
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.

  Fav 4 1551 537

  share tweet
  

• (989): View more from Michigan

  Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.

  Fav 5 697 449

  share tweet
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck

  Fav 1 661 398

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days

  Fav 0 52 57

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to

  Fav 0 86 11

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child

  Fav 1 15 41

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone

  Fav 0 23 8

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (302): View more from Delaware

  Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.

  Fav 0 25 21

  share tweet
  

Randomize