cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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