But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
