her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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