Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
do nipples grow back?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
