She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she peed on how many people?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
