The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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