He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
