You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have aggressive nipples.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
