So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
