I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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