hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
