Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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