Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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