PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
