I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
