This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Rumble strips road head = magical
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize