dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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