I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
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