: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
