I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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