in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
