Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize