Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
