you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
