Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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