eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
