i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
