are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
