Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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