so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
