I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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