You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
