you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
