I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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