My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
