The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
