just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
