So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
