oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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