im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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