I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
