My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
