your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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